Instagram: @motheringhonestlyblog @motheringhonestlyshop
My name is Lauren and I am a 27-year-old mother of Lily and a wife to Josh. I am currently staying at home and raising her for a while, but prior to giving birth, I have been a licensed cosmetologist for almost 10 years. I have always had a love for crafting hair, but my huge passion is skin care.
I was born and raised in Ohio, but my husband and I moved to Texas right at the start of 2014 for his current company that he works for. Being that we moved across the country, it is just my husband and me living here, and we have just been figuring out life. Once I had Lily, I had suffered from some pretty severe postpartum anxiety and depression, and I started my blog to connect with other women and start the journey to healing.
Since starting my blog in April, it has turned in to so much more than that for me. I have gotten to connect with so many amazing mothers and women across the country, I have gotten to partner up with some super awesome companies, and I get to share stories that I enjoy writing about. ❤
Confetti + Crumbs: How about a “Kids say the darnest thing” quote?
Lauren: My baby is currently about to turn 8 months old, so we have not entered this stage yet. However, she is making all of the funny noises, like mama, dada, baba.
Confetti + Crumbs: What is the most rewarding part about being a mother?
Lauren: Knowing that I am raising this little human from scratch, and teaching her all that she knows. I love when she smiles when she sees me entering the room. I don’t know that I can choose just one rewarding thing because I feel like in the end all of the good and hard times will all be worth it.
Confetti + Crumbs: Something your child/children do that makes you smile.
Lauren: At this age, she does so many things that make me smile. She gets excited when she sees mommy or daddy and that, of course, makes me so happy and She has a scrunchy angry face that I cannot help but laugh at.
Confetti + Crumbs: What is the last thing your child cried about?
Lauren: Nap time and having her diaper changed. She hates both.
Confetti + Crumbs: What is your child’s favorite book or story?
Lauren: Really any right now as her attention span isn’t quite ready for reading yet. She just likes to put all the books in her mouth because we are deep into teething!
Show & Tell:
I would like to share a post on Postpartum that I had written on June 26th: Post-Partum Explanations
I have always wanted to be a mother. I have dreamed of it, prayed for it and waited patiently for it with my husband. When we found out we were going to have a little girl, I could not feel happier. I just imagined dressing her in the cutest outfits and styling her hair and going shopping with her. Pure perfection. I planned a natural childbirth and planned to breastfeed.
I had a fantastic pregnancy overall with a natural childbirth as I had hoped, (you can read about our birth here) and have been exclusively breastfeeding now for a solid 5 months and 3 days as I write this.
When I originally pictured motherhood and breastfeeding, I 100% saw rainbows and butterflies, pure bliss with maybe some spit up and some poop. You just do not envision the nitty gritty of motherhood when you become pregnant – I didn’t anyway.
After having Lily I remember feeling beyond blessed and so incredibly in love with this little girl. She was and still is the most beautiful soul I have ever seen. But then there had been other feelings. Always tired, never being able to fall asleep. Feeling completely overwhelmed on the day today. (We also live across the country from any family and lack that immediate help) I didn’t love my body anymore like I once did, it just looked and felt so different. My husband and I have certainly had some incredibly trying days and a real chance for a date night would have been great, but I couldn’t get over the fear of actually leaving her behind for any amount of time.
In regards to breastfeeding, it was so hard at first. We had so many trying moments and I desperately was ready to throw in the towel and stop fighting the fight, but for me, I just feel it was the best thing for my daughter as long as I make the milk she needs.
There were days that were so hard I just didn’t want to get out of bed and face the music. I was afraid to leave the house and actually take her anywhere. I was afraid of her getting hurt or sick. I was afraid to have anyone touch her or hold her outside of my husband and I or immediate family and it even took me a while to allow friends to hold her. I just felt constant anxiety and fear – fear that I might mess up or not give my all 100% of the time. I was afraid to separate from her and even get in the shower, so there were days in a row that I may not shower and just let my needs completely go to the wayside. I recall my husband literally demanding that I take care of myself. Take a break. Get in the shower, get dressed, brush my hair, take a nap. I remember feeling anger toward him and I just felt there is no way I wanted to, I wanted to be there for her every second of the day.
Fast forward to about 4 months in and I finally saw a doctor and was diagnosed with Post Partum Anxiety, with some mild depression, but mainly anxiety just not knowing how to cope and find myself and also play the mommy role.
“Baby blues are commonly due to the hormonal shift experienced following birth and typically go away within a couple weeks up to a month post-partum. If you’re experiencing symptoms of baby blues after this time, it could be something more serious.
In 2013, the largest scale depression screening of 10,000 postpartum women was performed by a Medicine Researcher at Northwestern University. Their results were surprisingly high as 14% of the women screened positive for depression, that’s 1,400 women in a short time frame from 1 hospital!” – This Wife and Mommy Life. You can read the full article here.
Currently, I am on the route of healing and finding myself while also being a mommy. I have had to realize I am not just a mom to Lily. I am also still Lauren, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a hair stylist and someone who loves to cook. I have had to try to figure out how to fit Lily into our lives, and not necessarily how we fit into her life. I have had to sometimes relinquish control and realize “life happens.”
Above all, I have had to give myself Grace and forgiveness. In the sleepless nights sometimes I get frustrated with myself wondering what I am doing wrong that she doesn’t want to sleep… but it turns out, this happens to just about every mom on the planet. Babies go through phases of sleep and sleep regressions. Phases where they nurse perfectly and it is a perfect ebb and flow, and other days where she may scream at me and just not want anything to do with me (or so it seems.)
The real truth about motherhood is that it is a dirty, tiring job. However, it is the most AMAZING job I have ever had and I would not ever trade it for anything. It is the biggest honor I have had to raise this little girl and watch her grow. I have learned I have more strength and patience than I ever thought I had. I have watched my husband become an amazing father and grow immensely as a husband. Our bond is now stronger than ever before because now we have this little human that is totally ours and we have to protect her and raise her as we see fit. As for loving my body – yes it looks different, really different. But I grew a baby from smaller than a poppy seed to a very healthy 8 pound, 2-ounce little girl that I then birthed. So yes, it is going to look different, and that is okay with me.
So if you are having a hard time, allow yourself grace. I thought that PPD is something that would just go away, but I am realizing it is a journey and I have to take each day one at a time. Never ever forget to pray and count all of your blessings and only then pray for what you need. You are never alone in this journey, but just know it is all worth it, and your tiny little human one day will thank you for it. ❤
Thank you, Lauren, for sharing with us today! Join us next week for another round of Naptime with Confetti + Crumbs.